Chapter 117

*Ariya*

*We can't have sex, Ari. Who knows what Keo will feel when you guys swap places. I'm sure the feelings don't go away instantly after.* Ivan smirked.

I blushed, *I know, but still. It's amazing and my favorite way to feed from you.*

Ivan blushed this time, *Before I leave tonight. If you want to. We can. I want to as well, but we can't. Not right now. Besides, it's my turn to feel what you feel when you feed.*

My eyes changed as I looked at Ivan. A small part of me feared letting him know what it was like for me. How it consumed my every thought. Ivan took my face gently in his hands and brought his lips to mine.

*I'm never going to think differently of you. If it makes you feel better, part of me is getting addicted to it when you give me some of your blood.* Ivan told me through our mind.

I stiffened. I wasn't exactly sure what I was doing when I gave him some of my blood. It was extremely personal. That much I knew. But we were doing all of this without much guidance. We knew that we were mated but I wasn't sure if anyone had ever been mated together that were just like us. What would happen if Keo or Drake gave Caleb some of their blood? Should we mention it to them? I could feel my face flush in embarrassment.

"Breathe, Ari. You're not doing anything wrong. We can talk to Drake if you want. But I think it's ok. You're basically just supercharging my system." Ivan said out loud.

"I just" I started but stopped.

"I know. It's ok. I'm not ever going to judge you. This is important to you and it's a part of who you are. There's nothing you couldn't show me that I wouldn't love. I don't have to feel what you feel right now. We can do it if you ever want to. I'm curious, but I don't need to know." Ivan said, comforting me.

I snuggled into his chest. Ivan hugged me close to him, breathing me in. I could feel that he was genuine in what he said. He didn't want to pressure me. It wasn't that I didn't want him to know. I was just worried that he would look at me differently. That he would see me differently. But he loved me.

*I will always love you, Ari. I promise I'm not trying to intrude on your thoughts. We're just still connected. I can cut the connection if you want me to, to give you some privacy.* Ivan told me in our mind.

Panic hit me as soon as he said it.

*No! Pleasedon't leave. Stay here. Don't cut the connection.*

*I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you want me to. I'm right here, Ari. I'm here.* Ivan told me.

*I'm just nervous about you feeling it. Sometimes I get a little lost in the feeling. That's it. Especially if I'm really hungry.* I told him.

*You don't need to show me, Ari. It's ok. I don't need to know right now.*

*I want you to know. I just don't want you to be scared of me.*

I felt Ivan flinch, *I'm sorry, Ari. I don't want you to ever think that I'm scared of you. You can't hurt me by feeding on me. No matter how hard you were to try. Since we're bonded you're kinda stuck with me. You can lose complete control when it comes to me. I can handle it.*

*You can't if you're in front of Boss. He'll know immediately if I was to drain you.*

Ivan laughed, *That's the only time I'll fight back and make sure you don't bite me. Unless we plan it.*

I looked up at Ivan, the thought forming into a plan in my head. A smile spread across Ivan's face as he got the plan in his head at the same time. His eyes lit up with excitement.

*I like this idea. We're going to have to practice it though. It would have to be perfect for it to work.* Ivan grinned.

*There might be some kinks in the plan. But it's an idea.* I grinned back at him.

*You could always try it now.*

*Only part of it, you gotta feel what it feels like when I do feed first.* I told him.

*Only if you're sure about it, Ari.*

*I'm sure as long as you're not going to be scared of me.*

*Never.*

I nuzzled into Ivan's neck, breathing him in. I could smell his blood running just below the surface. I let myself get sucked into the scent. It was intoxicating. Feeding from Ivan was like pure bliss to me. I ran the tip of my tongue up his neck, licking the artery. Ivan moaned as his eyes rolled back and the electricity moved through him.

*Focus on me, Ivan. Focus on what I'm feeling.* I whispered.

I ran the tip of my tongue up his neck again as his blood pulsed through his veins. My breathing picked up and my mouth opened as my fangs forced their way out. I scraped my teeth over his neck and groaned. I felt my hunger rise to the surface as the singular thought I had was to bite down. I gave in to my desire and bit down onto Ivan's neck. Blood poured into my mouth and I felt the electricity flow through me. I gulped down Ivan's blood greedily as I felt his heart rate increase. The taste of him, perfect. I wanted more.

I moved my hand to the other side of his neck, pulling him closer to me. I could feel my control waver as my need to devour him intensified. I could feel my body finish repairing itself. The strength returned to me. I could feel Ivan's pulse slow as I drained him. It was like taking a life with my teeth. I felt it as his body was drained and as it shut down. The part that I took became a part of me. I released him after his body was drained. The vampire part of me growling and breathing heavily. I wanted more.

*More.* I heard Ivan say in my head.

Without hesitating, I bit down again. Ivan moaned and wrapped his arms around me, holding me closer to him. I drained him again and released him. I was breathing heavily as I regained control. Ivan's blood was on my lips and tongue. I bit my tongue letting my own blood flow from it and licked the holes I had made in Ivan's neck with my teeth. Ivan's body jolted and I looked up at him, immediately concerned.

*Ivan!*

His breathing was labored as his wolf eyes flashed at me. His body shivered and he shoved the urge to shift into his wolf.

*It's ok. I'm ok. That was intense. I feel like I need to run in my wolf form is all.* Ivan laughed.

*It's not funny! I'm worried about you!* I shouted at him, scared.

*I'm sorry, princess. I'm ok. I promise. I think it's because you just fed as much as you needed. Then mixing our blood like that, it was just intense. I'm ok. It's going to take a little getting used to. Like not laughing on the outside.* Ivan told me.

I curled up in his arms but checked his neck first. The holes were closed. I had a feeling it would happen. I wasn't completely sure but I was now. I wondered what Ivan's thoughts were about me feeding. He didn't say anything but we were immediately concerned with his reaction to what I did.

*I know why it's hard to resist now. That feeling is intense. It's addicting. I didn't want it to stop when it did the first time. I knew you wanted more but I did too.* Ivan said, nuzzling into me.

*It isn't scary? Knowing how much control I lose?* I asked.

*Not at all. In fact, your amount of control is amazing. I would have lost control or gave in if I was you. But you let yourself lose a certain amount of control and that's it. I'm guessing I won't ever feel you fully lose control though.* Ivan thought.

*I don't know. It's not that I wouldn't want you to know but when I lose control I'm not ever there. I'm sure you might be able to feel it. But it's like a primal side takes over and we're unconscious. You're more likely to be pulled into my mind with me if I fully lose control. But that's only if I'm feeding on you.*

*If it ever happens I will let you know how it feels if I'm able to.* Ivan winked at me.