Chapter 33
The world felt different after the vision.
The weight of it clung to Riley's skin, settling in her bones like an old wound. Even as the night air cooled around her, she couldn't shake the fire burning inside her, the way her blood felt charged, like a storm waiting to break.
She had died.
She had lived another life, fought another war, lost something she still couldn't name.
And yet she was here.
Alive. Awake.
And she still didn't know why.
Kieran hadn't let go of her wrist, his grip grounding, steady but there was something else in it now. Something heavy, like he was holding onto more than just her.
Like he was holding onto a truth he didn't want to say out loud.
She turned to him, swallowing hard. "Tell me."
His jaw clenched. "Riley"
"No." Her voice came out sharper than she intended, her heart pounding. "No more secrets. No more waiting for me to figure it out on my own. You knew. You saw it happen."
Kieran didn't move, but something flickered in his golden eyes, something raw, something dangerous.
"You were there," she whispered. "Weren't you?"
Silence.
And then barely above a breath
"Yes."
The word hit her like a knife to the ribs.
Her breath shook. She pulled back slightly, but Kieran's fingers curled like he couldn't let go, like if he did, she might slip away.
"You saw me die."
Kieran exhaled sharply, the sound pained, like this wasn't just a memory for him it was a wound that had never healed.
"I tried to stop it," he said finally. "I couldn't."
Riley's stomach twisted. "Who killed me?"
Kieran's throat bobbed, but he didn't answer.
She stepped closer, searching his face. "Who?"
Lena made a soft noise behind them. "That's the wrong question."
Riley tore her gaze from Kieran, spinning toward her. "Excuse me?"
Lena smirked, but something was known in her expression. "You keep asking who. As if this was simple. As if there was a villain, and a hero, and a clean ending."
Riley's pulse thrummed. "And?"
Lena tilted her head. "Ask yourself this: if you were leading a war, if you were powerful enough to have wolves kneeling at your feet, if you were feared, respected, why would you let yourself die?"
Riley blinked. The words punched through her defenses, planting something cold and uneasy in her gut.
"I didn't" she started, but she couldn't finish.
Because deep down, she already knew what Lena was implying.
She hadn't just been killed.
She had allowed it.
Her fingers curled into fists.
Kieran's voice was tight, controlled. "That's enough."
Lena ignored him. "Is it? Because she needs to understand what this means." She turned back to Riley, her golden eyes glinting. "You think you're just some girl who got caught in the middle of Tobias's war? That all of this your power, your hunger, the way the ruins called to you is just coincidence?"
Riley's pulse pounded, but she didn't speak.
Lena took a slow step forward. "You didn't just die, Riley. You chose to fall."
A cold shiver crawled down Riley's spine.
"No," she whispered. "That's not possible."
Lena smiled, slow and knowing. "Isn't it?"
Riley's breath came faster, her mind spinning.
She had been powerful. She had commanded wolves, warriors, and an entire war.
And then she had fallen.
She had stood at that altar, fire in her veins, blood on her hands.
And somehow she had lost.
It didn't make sense.
Unless
Riley pressed a hand to her forehead, her pulse thrumming. "Why?" She swallowed hard. "Why would I let that happen?"
Lena tilted her head. "That's what you have to figure out."
Kieran finally moved, stepping between them, his body tense. "That's enough for tonight."
Lena raised a brow but didn't argue.
Riley barely heard them.
Her mind was a whirlwind.
Because if Lena was right
If she had chosen this
Then what did that mean about the person she was becoming now?
She turned abruptly and walked away from the altar, the hunger gnawing at her ribs.
She needed air.
She needed to breathe.
But even as she stepped into the cool night, even as she tried to steady herself, the whispers still echoed in the back of her mind.
Not who.
Not how.
Why?
And she wasn't sure she wanted the answer.
But the answer was already inside her.
It was in the fire burning beneath her skin. In the whispers curling at the edges of her mind, beckoning her to remember. In the way, her pulse roared when she had touched the altar, when she had felt the echoes of a life she couldn't quite reach.
She pressed her hands to her temples as if that could silence the noise, the gnawing ache of knowing.
"Why?"
The question wouldn't leave her alone.
Because if she had truly chosen to die, if she had willingly let go then what had been so terrible, so inevitable, that she'd rather face death than keep fighting?
A sharp wind cut through the clearing, rustling the trees, but it did nothing to quiet the storm inside her.
Footsteps approached. Kieran.
She didn't have to look at him to know he was there. His presence was steady, and familiar, something she had trusted before everything unraveled.
He exhaled softly. "Riley."
She squeezed her eyes shut. "Don't."
"Don't what?" His voice was quiet but edged with something heavy.
"Don't act like you don't know."
A beat of silence. Then "I do know."
Her fingers twitched. She turned slowly, facing him, searching his face for something that might tell her what he wasn't saying.
His golden eyes were unreadable. "But I don't know why."
Her stomach twisted. "Then tell me what you do know."
Kieran hesitated. He never hesitated.
It sent a sharp pulse of unease through her.
He ran a hand through his dark hair, exhaling roughly. "I saw you fall, Riley. I watched you bleed out on the ground. I heard you say" He cut himself off, jaw tightening.
Riley's breath hitched. "Say what?"
Kieran's throat bobbed, but when he spoke again, it was barely a whisper.
"This has to end."
The words punched through her like a knife.
She had heard them before. In the vision. In the ruins.
"This has to end."
It had been her voice.
Her own words, spoken with certainty, with finality.
She had known she was going to die.
And she had let it happen.
Riley took an unsteady step back.
Lena had been right.
It wasn't about who had killed her. It wasn't about who had betrayed her.
It was about why she had given up.
And that terrified her more than anything.
Riley's breath came uneven, each inhales cutting through her like a blade.
She had given up.
Not in the way that meant losing a battle. Not in the way that meant being overpowered, or outmatched.
She had chosen to die.
Her voice, whispering this has to end, echoed inside her skull like a curse that refused to fade.
But why?
What had been so terrible, so inevitable, that she had let it happen?
Kieran was watching her, his golden eyes tired, but full of something else, something he hadn't said yet.
She swallowed hard, her voice breaking against the cold. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Kieran exhaled, rubbing a hand across his jaw, frustration evident in the set of his shoulders. "Because I didn't want you to remember it like this."
Anger flickered in her chest. "So you thought lying to me was better?"
"I wasn't lying." His voice was quiet, rough. "I was trying to protect you."
Riley let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. "Protect me from what?"
Kieran hesitated.
That single moment of silence told her everything.
Her stomach twisted. "You're afraid of me."
Kieran's breath hitched. "Riley"
She took another step back, something cold and sharp twisting inside her. "You think I'm going to do it again, don't you?"
Kieran held her gaze, but he didn't answer.
He didn't have to.
She saw it in his eyes.
On the way, he had been watching her since the moment she touched the altar.
In this way he never let himself get too close.
Kieran Wolfe, the boy who had thrown himself into danger for her, who had faced down Tobias and his pack, who had stood at her side even when everything else was falling apart
Was afraid of her.
Her hands curled into fists at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as heat coiled beneath her skin.
Not anger.
Something worse.
Something she couldn't name.
Lena sighed behind her, breaking the silence. "Well, this is fascinating."
Riley barely turned her head, her voice tight. "Is this what you wanted? To watch me unravel?"
Lena smirked. "You're not unraveling, Riley. You're remembering. There's a difference."
Riley spun to face her fully, the weight in her chest building. "And what am I supposed to do with that?"
Lena's golden eyes gleamed. "You tell me."
Riley's breath was sharp and shallow.
She could still feel the weight of the past pressing into her skin, sinking into her ribs, filling the spaces between her breaths.
The memories weren't finished with her yet.
And neither was the power waiting to be claimed.