Chapter 77

chapter Seventy Seven

*Ariya*

"What bones are broken, Ariya?" Justin asked me.

Boss looked at him confused, "What?"

"She can tell me what bones are broken. It makes it easier and not as weird. I'd really rather not just go feeling her up. It's kinda rude honestly, but if I have to I will."

Boss laughed, "That's interesting. I didn't know you could do that."

I nodded, "I'm not sure how accurate I can be but I can tell what my body is trying to heal but can't."

"Can you feel the full pain of it?" Boss asked me.

"Yes. I feel it just like anyone else feels it. It just doesn't stick around. When I heal from an injury, hunger replaces the pain."

"Interesting. So you have to have a regular amount of blood but that increases when you get injured. What happens if you never get any blood?" Boss asked.

"Apparently she gets stronger and can't control herself. We just saw that a bit ago, Boss." Justin jumped in.

"Yes, but what does it feel like, Ariya?" Boss asked me.

"It's the only thing I can think about and then at some point, I go blank. I don't remember. It's like I'm unconscious and my body is moving on its own." I answered him.

"Basically the vampire part of you takes over. The demon side. Does it talk?" Boss asked.

"I'm not sure. I don't think so. I think that's me. I gained a bit of control back and was able to say something to you." I said.

"Interesting. We'll have to test it at some point. I want to know when you lose yourself and what it takes to bring you back." Boss told me.

"Please don't test it. I can tell you. I lose myself when I'm starving. It feels like I haven't eaten in weeks even though it hasn't been that long. It takes someone I care about to bring me back or for me to feel something over the hunger I feel." I told him.

"Don't act like you care about me, Ariya. I was the only one in here when you started to get some control back. As for the starving part, I need something more concrete than just starving. That point will likely be different for each person." Boss scoffed at me.

"Part of me still does care." I whispered.

"What's that?"

"Part of me does care. You took me in, Boss. You and Justin trained me. I wasn't your right hand like Justin, but I felt like I was at times. I didn't care about everyone here but I do care about some of you. Even if you all hate me now. Part of me still cares. That's why Keo didn't kill everyone. I asked him not to. That point of starving is different for everyone. I'm sure Drake has a very high threshold. But he's been around for a long time. Mine is probably significantly lower since I didn't turn that long ago. You gave me 1 bag of blood so far. It barely took the edge off and I now have 2 broken arms and a broken nose. It will likely take 6 more bags before I'm full." I told Boss.

"Why don't we use a scale? Scale of 1 to 10. Ariya is at 6 now. 7 is where she loses control." Justin proposed.

"Do it. But make sure we give her blood more consistently. I don't really want to deal with her losing control on accident. Oh, and Ariya, you were a right hand. Not as much as Justin, but still up there. Why do you think you're earning things and not being tortured?"

"I honestly don't know why. I kinda expected you to kill me when you found out." I told him.

Boss laughed, "Oh I wanted to at first. I still think you're a monster, but I also understand why you didn't say anything. Justin, get her fixed up, feed her regular food and give her blood. Make sure you change out the restraints and get the mat, pillow, and blanket. I'll let the guards up front know."

"Yes sir." Justin said as Boss left.

Justin walked up to me, "Nose first?"

I opened my mouth to say something but decided against it. We needed to be careful. I wanted to ask if he knew he was Ivan or who he was to me when he was Justin. But I knew the only reason why he would be Justin in front of me was because someone else was around. Boss had left but he hadn't gotten far enough away yet. We needed to be cautious because we didn't know if Boss ever left a spy to watch us. If he did, Justin wouldn't go back to being Ivan. But that also meant I shouldn't talk to Justin like he was Ivan. It meant it wasn't safe. I wanted to ask but I knew I couldn't.

"Yes, Ariya." Justin told me like he read my thoughts.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I was still worried about it but I was more worried about the pain and hunger I was about to feel. Ivan flashed his wolf eyes at me and looked at me apologetically as his hair changed back.

"Don't do that." I told him quickly.

"But" Ivan started.

"No. We needed to and I did lose control. It needed to happen. It's going to happen a lot. Me getting hurt that is. But it's only temporary. Don't blame yourself. Please." I interrupted.

"I'm sorry, Ari. I'm still going to blame myself when you get hurt. Especially when it was my idea and when I hurt you. And yes, Ari. I still know when I'm Justin that I'm actually Ivan. I still know that I love you. I still know what happened before. I just don't remember being a wolf. I think that's what I've been fighting. The wall that's in my mind is the one that prevents my wolf from coming out when others are around. But if I'm already in wolf form it doesn't change anything. I can access it if I really need it, I think. But it is blocked otherwise. I can't show you that I know." Ivan told me.

"Boss really trusts you." I told him.

"He does. I think that's why we don't have to worry about anyone watching. But I don't think that means we shouldn't be careful."

"I agree. Ivan?"

"Yes, princess?" Ivan asked, his wolf eyes flashing at me.

"Can you actually fix my shoulder first? It hurts really bad. I think my body is trying to heal and it's hurting more."

"Of course. We need to talk about Boss though. His ability and what happened before I got back here. Before you fed and I shifted. I'll fix everything first and then we need to have you drink some blood. You can take some from me too." Ivan said.

"If I take too much blood from you, you'll lose your strength and then they might notice. It's better to stay at the 25% like Drake said. Boss is allowing you to give me more blood now so I'll be ok soon."

Ivan nodded and then gently placed his hands around my shoulder. He winced when he felt how it was out of place. My breathing picked up a little. I was worried about the pain. Then I remembered what Drake told me. The pain is only temporary. It isn't going to last forever.

"I'm going to fix each of them as fast as I can, ok? Try to stay still." Ivan told me.

I nodded and Ivan pulled my arm out a little further and forcefully pushed it into place. I screamed in pain as Ivan went to my other arm. He did the same thing and moved to my nose. After he fixed my nose, blood gushed out of it. I choked as the blood rushed down the back of my throat. I coughed, spitting the blood out. It only lasted a minute but it still freaked me out. It felt like I was drowning in my own blood. Ivan stayed close by making sure I was ok. I dropped to the ground on my knees and Ivan caught me. He held me in his arms as I sobbed.

"You need to feed. The pain will stop when you do. I'm sorry, princess." Ivan said softly.

Ivan offered his wrist to me since I still couldn't move my arms. They were trying to heal but the pain was unbearable. I didn't want to feed from him too much. I didn't want him to seem weaker in front of everyone. They would figure out that he was Ivan if I did.

"It's ok, Ari. I'll be ok. Just take a bit. Then I'll grab the blood bags in the corner and you can take those too. Just get the edge off. Please." Ivan said, his hand on my face and his thumb rubbing back and forth softly on my cheek.

I nodded and turned my head to bite his wrist. I put my mouth over his wrist as my fangs pushed their way out, they also punctured his wrist. Ivan let out of a small sound that was a mix between a gasp and a moan. His wolf eyes glowing at me as I fed. I did what he said and only took a little bit. The edge of the pain taken off, I released his wrist and closed the wound with my tongue again. He grabbed the blood bags and had me drink them. Ivan then took the restraints off my wrists and ankles. He set it on the other side of the room.

Ivan's back was to me and I realized I could surprise him. I ran over and hopped on his back, giggling. Ivan laughed, catching me. His body shivered and he turned and looked at me. His wolf eyes glowing blue. They seemed darker than normal.

"Put a barrier up, Ari." Ivan smirked at me.